Archive for May, 2007

It’s the Time of Year for the Battle of Valedictorian.

As I recall, the battle for valedictorian and salutatorian of my high school class went like this. As I remember it the salutatorian got a special exemption from the gym grade and one of them was caught cheating and that was overlooked or something. (Southeast Jerome, you were like #4, do you remember?)

Of course, what is worse is making 30% of the class valedictorian and salutatorian which you see around here a lot.

My wife was the valedictorian of her high school class, which is all well and good, and it scored her some nice scholarships, but man, does it ever mean so little after such a short time after high school. (Plus, though I didn’t know her at the time, I’m fairly certain she did it without whining, and seemed to live life while in high school.)

If I ever see my kids killing themselves – or whining – to be valedictorian I will tell them to knock it off and enjoy high school. There’s plenty of time for stress later in life. Besides, I’m not footing the bill for Harvard or Stanford anyway. They can have their choice of Big Ten (not counting Northwestern or Minnesota or Illinois or Purdue or Indiana or Michigan… OK, just Wisconsin), or non-Stanford Pac-10 (not really, but I’ll say it anyway) schools and get a fine education.

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Moose Droppings – Summer Class Starts Edition

  • Summer class starts tonight. I’m only taking Professional Responsibility this summer, which is more or less a way for the school to charge you $2800 for 3 credits to tell you not to steal from your clients, not to have sex with your clients, and to try not to be too obvious when overbilling. The ABA installed this class as a requirement for all law schools after Watergate. Thank you very much, G. Gordon Liddy.
  • I had planned on taking Family Law this summer, too, but I have to (hopefully) be out of town the night of the final, and I’d have better luck talking Congress into a balanced budget than talking the Dean into letting me take a summer final on a different date. It’s probably better I take it easy this summer with all of the goings on with the pregnant wife and what not.
  • If I were designing a way to try to intentionally destroy and/or discredit Christianity, this museum would be a high priority. I’d say to get some copies of “The Language of God” down there, but I don’t think anyone ponying up $20 per person to go to this museum will be changing their minds about anything.
  • I just got set up in the classroom and am watching my classmates file in. Not too many familiar faces, but the one classmate I do recognize is one of my least favorites. He looks a lot like Ben from Lost, only with gray hair. Same weirdo bug eyes, and he’s always ready to argue with the professor over something tiresome. That’s very 1L.
  • More brilliance from the folks of my hometown of Sheboygan. What possesses people to post evidence of their crimes on MySpace? I think Fark is seriously considering adding a “Sheboygan” tag.
  • I haven’t said much about the illegal alien amnesty bill small fine bill, and I probably won’t. There’s plenty of good material out there and I have nothing new to add. I will say that when I was in Vegas last July, an old friend and I were sitting at Denny’s at 3 AM, having one of those serious conversations you can only have in a Vegas Denny’s at 3 AM when the illegal immigration issue came up. I said the laws weren’t being enforced because Republican money men wanted the cheap labor, and Democrats wanted the potential votes. He objected to that line of reasoning because they are not citizens and couldn’t vote. I said something to the effect that kids born here could eventually vote and you wait and see on the rest. I think we have waited and saw.
  • The class has about filled in. Besides Ol’ Bug Eyes, Curly Hair Day Student, Girl Who Thinks She’s Much Hotter Than She Is, and Russian Girl, I don’t think I have had any of these people in a class before. Weird. Good. New material!
  • The Onion describes almost every Supreme Court decision ever handed down.

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    Classify her as a WMD

    Here’s one thing they don’t tell you to expect when becoming a parent: Your kid is going to find and take up every minor virus that is on God’s green earth, incubate it, and then deliver it to you. There’s just no way you can keep them clean enough so close to the floor, especially when they do things like taste rocks and lick the display water fountains at Lowes, like I’ve seen my daughter do.

    I’m sitting here with sinus pressure so bad I’m debating whether the pain from drilling a small hole into my sinus cavity would be better or worse. I threw some pseudephedrine and phenylephrine I think I actually heard laughter coming from the area of the pressure.

    The worst part is, I was just over the last thing she gave me. I guess I’ll just think of it as banking immunity for later in life when my immune system isn’t as strong.

    UPDATE: Hmm… Going for a vigorous run might not have been the best strategy. It felt good at the time, but now I’m woozy. Class is going to be fun tonight!

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    Alpha Males are Dead! Beta Males Now Rule…

    That is until a non-Greek-lettered male, such as myself, comes by and punches him in the throat for gloating.

    I take issue with this article’s characterization of Shrek as a Beta Male. Shrek took the bull by the horns and kicked some butt to get his swamp back.

    And Homer changes from episode to episode. In short, that’s why I call myself, and most of my male friends, as non-Greek-letterable. (I realize that’s probably not a word.) I’ll defer on some things, lead on others, depending on what I know or what the situation is. Maybe I’ll throw a punch, maybe not. It depends on how I feel, whether my kid is around, how many beers I’ve had, or how bad the call the ref made was. Don’t label me, Newsweek.

    In short, all I know is that I’m not metrosexual.

    UPDATE: For the record I’m less likely to punch someone in front of my daughter. Although, for the record I’m most likely not to punch someone due to my current situation of being over 25.

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    Not an H-D Certified Mechanic

    I used the crappy weekend last weekend and the long weekend this weekend to get my motorcycle in order for summer in case I want to hop on it and ride to Sturgis.

    It was filthy to star out with:

    Shameful!

    Disgusting!

    Chewie inspects and declares that, unlike him, it needs a bath:

    The first thing to do was violate some child labor laws and get it clean:

    Then it was on to installing the parts I had bought for my birthday way back in January, thinking I could get them off of eBay and discount dealers and install them easily. Last weekend I put on my crash bar and highway pegs.

    This weekend it was sideplates:


    Then sissy bar and luggage rack:


    Then the backrest:

    And finally, reassembled with the saddle bags back on:

    All I had to do to save the $200 in labor charges was buy a $30 torque wrench, a torx wrench set and a torx wratchet set, two $5 bottles of locktite, one of which my daughter decided to pour all over my motorcycle to “clean” it,and spend 10 hours fiddling with it. (But now the next thing I put on will be easier. Right?)

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    Glaciergate

    San Fran Gran Nan went to Greenland for one weekend and was able to declare climate change “a reality.” No doubt climate change is real, seeing as how when I look out my window at Puget Sound I see that it is filled with water and not a giant glacier like it was at one time, but I’ll assume that she’s referring to Al Gore brand global warming.

    My question is, if the worst case scenario for global warming is a couple of degrees Fahrenheit over the course of the century, what did she see over the weekend on what was likely a taxpayer funded Congressional fact-finding mission that made her able to declare this? Was there less glacier on Friday night than Sunday night? Did someone show her a photo of what the glacier used to look like? And if so, couldn’t she have just compared photos of glaciers at her desk in California or D.C.?

    You’d think that if man caused global warming was so easy to detect that it can be effectively demonstrated over a holiday weekend, someone could have shown me some data and models that would have convinced me of it’s scientific certainty by now.

    Or maybe Speaker Pelosi’s trip was more grandstanding on a weekend when she should have been honoring our nation’s fallen servicemen.

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    Memorial Day

    While enjoying your day off today, be sure to take at least a moment to remember those who died in service to the country. No matter what you think of the policy behind any of the wars from the War of 1812 to the present conflict in Iraq, every man and woman who died fighting the war their government told them to fight is a hero.

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    Happy 30th Anniversary Star Wars!

    Thirty years ago today Star Wars was released. Little did George Lucas know what he had wrought. It is safe to say my personality would have been much different if I hadn’t seen it at the age of 3 the following summer.

    UPDATE: Though I couldn’t be in Los Angeles for the official celebration, I popped in my Star Wars DVD and watched to celebrate on my own. (Even though it is the 1997 retouch with Greedo shooting first. Grumble. All the other changes are fine with me as long as Greedo doesn’t shoot first… Maybe I should have gotten out my Laserdiscs of the original cut).

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    Selected Quotes from “The Language of God: A Scientist Presents Evidence for Belief” by Francis S. Collins

    As someone who is educated in biochemistry and working in biotechnology, almost nothing frustrates me more than when trained scientists and engineers who are also Christians (or for that matter adherents of any religion) can look me in the eye and with a straight face announce to me that the theory of evolution is flawed and inconsistent with Christianity, and promote antiscientific ideals like creationism or Intelligent Design.

    Rubbish.

    I’ve never really been able to articulate my position why I think that evolution and faith in God are fully consistent in a way that fully satisfied me. So I was delighted to find a book by Dr. Francis Collins, who is head of the Human Genome Project, a Born Again Christian, and all around smart guy that addressed his reconciliation of the two. It is called “The Language of God: A Scientist Presents Evidence for Belief.” Dr. Collins elegantly lays out his case for why science and faith can co-exist perfectly, without the need for compartmentalization. His views, what he terms BioLogos (a form of theistic evolution), as it turns out are pretty consistent with mine on the subject. (Say… 95% match.)

    I highly recommend this book for either people who are convinced that the goal of science is to abrogate religion or that religion is inconsistent with rigorous scientific investigation.

    And I should add that while Dr. Collins has an M.D., a Ph.D. in physical chemistry, and has spent his life working at the highest levels of science, the book is not highly technical. I think anyone with a high school diploma should easily be able to follow his arguments and the science behind them. I’d love to see a book from Dr. Collins on the subject aimed directly at life-scientists, this isn’t it.

    Here are some selected quotes to give you the idea:

    The rising cacophony of antagonistic voices leaves many sincere observers confused and disheartened. Reasonable people conclude that they are forced to choose between these two unappetizing extremes, neither of which offers much comfort. Disillusioned by the stridency of both perspectives, many choose to reject both the trustworthiness of scientific conclusions and the value of organized religion, slipping instead into various forms of antiscientific thinking, shallow spirituality, or simple apathy. Others decide to accept the value of both science and spirit, but compartmentalize these parts of their spiritual and material existence to avoid any uneasiness about apparent conflicts… But this, too, is potentially unsatisfying. It inspires internal conflict, and deprives people of the chance to embrace either science or spirit in a fully realized way.

    The elegance behind life’s complexity is indeed reason for awe, and beleif in God – but not in the simple, straight-forward way that many found so compelling before Darwin came along.

    A believer need not fear that this investigation [of evolution] will dethrone the divine; if God is truly Almighty, He will hardly be threatened by our puny efforts to understand the workings of His natural world.

    A word of caution is needed when inserting specific divine action by God in this or any other area where scientific understanding is currently lacking. From solar eclipses in olden times to the movement of the planets in the Middle Ages, to the origins of life today, this “God of the gaps” approach has all too often done a disservice to religion (and by implication, to God, if that’s possible).

    [W]hile the question of the origin of life is a fascinating one, and the inability of modern science to develop a statistically probable mechanism is intriguing, this is not the place for a thoughtful person to wager his faith.

    Do not fear, there is plenty of divine mystery left. Many people who have considered all the scientific and spiritual evidence still see God’s creative and guiding hand at work.

    [F]or those like myself working in genetics, it is almost impossible to imagine correlating the vast amounts of data coming forth from the studies of genomes without the foundations of Darwin’s theory.

    (Collins is more imaginative than me. It is impossible for me, not “almost” impossible.)

    Perhaps part of the problem relates to a simple misunderstanding of the word “theory.” Critics are fond of pointing out that evolution is “only a theory,” a statement that puzzles working scientists who are used to a different meaning of that word… [scientists use the term to mean] fundamental principles underlying a science, art, etc.: music theory, theory of equations… It is… this usage that scientists intend when they talk about evolutionary theory, just as when they mention gravitational theory or the germ theory of infectious disease.

    A major part of the problem in accepting the theory of evolution is that it requires one to grasp the significance of extremely long periods of time involved in the process. such intervals are unimaginably beyond individual experience.

    But the idea that scientific revelations would represent an enemy in that pursuit is ill conceived. If God created the universe, and the laws that govern it, and if He endowed human beings with intellectual abilities to discern its workings, would He want us to disregard those abilities? Would He be diminished or threatened by what we are discovering about His creations.

    Science cannot be used to justify discounting the great monotheistic religions of the world, which rest upon centuries of history, moral philosophy, and the powerful evidence of human altruism. It is the height of scientific hubris to claim otherwise.

    The intention of the Bible was (and is) to reveal the nature of God to humankind. Would it have served God’s purposes thirty-four hundred years ago to lecture to His people about radioactive decay, geologic strata, and DNA?

    The image of God as a cosmic trickster [who plants false evidence to test belief] seems to be the ultimate admission of defeat for the Creationist perspective.

    Young Earth Creationism does even more damage to faith, by demanding that belief in God requires assent to fundamentally flawed claims about the natural world.

    [A]ttaching your position [Creationism] to a flawed foundation… offers the opponents of faith (and there are many) to win a long series of easy victories.

    Intelligent Design proponents have made the mistake of confusing the unknown with the unknowable, or the unsolved with the unsolvable.

    [When beginning to consider faith after becoming an atheist during Ph.D. studies] I was vaguely aware that some of those around me thought that this pairing of explorations was contradictory and I was headed over a cliff, but I found it difficult to imagine that there could be a real conflict between scientific truth and spiritual truth. Truth is truth. Truth cannot disprove truth.

    Perhaps one shouldn’t get too hung up on the notion that this scripture [Genesis 1:27 - the "image of God" passage] is referring to physical anatomy – the image of God seems a lot more about mind than body.

    I do not believe that the God who created all the universe, and who communes with His people through prayer and spiritual insight, would expect us to deny the obvious truths of the natural world that science has revealed to us, in order to prove our love for Him.

    The God of the Bible is also the God of the genome. He can be worshiped in the cathedral or the laboratory.

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    “Lost” : WTF?

    The season finale of “Lost” was on last night. The show seems to be back to it’s old puzzly, not afraid to kill anyone ways. I’m glad ABC announced that there would be only 48 more shows following this season, otherwise I might wonder if they are starting to spin into an “X-Files” vortex where there is no possibility of closure.

    Thoughts about the season finale, in no particular order:

  • RIP, Charlie. Since the writers have been trying to kill him since about episode 4, it’s surprising he made it to the end of the third season. His character has a nice arc. If the purgatory theory is true, his “death” makes sense.
  • But it’s pretty clear now with Jack’s flash-forward that the purgatory theory isn’t correct.
  • But what about the claim that they found all of their bodies and the plane in the ocean? And what about Locke’s father thinking he was dead?
  • So now we’re going to get flash-forwards the same as flash-backs?
  • Who the hell was in the coffin? It looked kind of small. Black neighborhood. Walt?
  • And why isn’t Jack’s father dead anymore in the flash-forward? (He told the black doctor to go get his father.)
  • Is Season 4 going to be the opposite of every castaway story ever made? The castaways trying to get back to the desert island? (Well, it is Hawaii.)
  • How come that Mikhail guy won’t stay dead? Does he think he’s Locke?
  • And how come Locke can shake off a gun shot to the chest now?
  • Season 4 is going to be all about Jacob & Locke. (I’m assuming Locke didn’t leave.)
  • Season 4 is going to be all about Penny & Jack trying to get to the island. (Did Desmond leave? Can Desmond leave?)
  • The girl who plays Alex, she’s the younger sister of the girl who played Blossom, right?
  • How was Kate able to leave and not be in jail? Did everyone forget she was being extradited when the plane crashed?
  • The only reason I’m glad they didn’t kill Ben is that I enjoy that actor’s bug eyes.
  • “That’s for taking the kid off the raft.” It’s about time someone killed that guy. Sawyer enjoys killing now, though.
  • I wonder what laws cover all the murder that went on? Laws of Admiralty? What is Oceanic’s flag?
  • All of a sudden the Others have qualms against killing Jin, Sayid, and Minor Character? I didn’t buy that, and thought it was a bit of a cop out.
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    Pan’s Labyrinth.

    I finally got a chance to watch Pan’s Labyrinth last night. Not exactly the feel good movie of 2006, but it was a fantastic movie none-the-less. Unless you are a fan of Spanish fascists, in which case you probably won’t like it.

    A bonus is that the DVD is encoded in DTS 6.1, giving me a rare chance to fire up that rear-center speaker.

    I might comment on it more later after it sits a little in my head, because it was awfully deep. But right now, I wanted to share something I stumbled across relating to the movie. As I was at the Netflix page for it, giving a rating, I paged through some of the user reviews. I came across this one:

    (1 star) I must say I was extremely disappointed that this movie was in spanish with no option for a english version….. I am quite able to read but I dont want to have to miss anything while I am readng. I looked like a very good movie too bad I wasnt interested in reading a book.[All errors copied from original].

    Well, there’s always one, right? One, two, three… And these are the people who bothered writing a review. I wonder how many just sent it back without comment. What is wrong with society when reading dialog, especially in a movie like this where it was rather scant, is seen as some kind of an enormous undertaking?

    (1 star)Very disappointed. NOWHERE did it say this was in Spanish. I like to relax and let my mind be free when seeing movies like this — did not jknow I would have to read the whole thing.

    (1 star) The movie description and reviews should mention the movie is in spanish, with english subtitles. Takes away from everything. Terrible.

    (1 star) The movie is in Spanish! WTF? I don’t want to read the damn movie! At least you could put on the header that the movie is in SPANISH!

    (1 star) OH PLEASE – they couldn’t broadcast that the entire film is subtitled – who wants to lay there and read for 2 hours after working all day – never got past the first 5 minutes……those giving it a 5 star must be glutons.

    (1 star) Netflix is really bad about NOT saying if the movie has subtitles. Ever review sounds good. However, I will not be watching this movie due to that…I like WATCH my movies not read them.

    (1 star) I guess it is my own fault for not paying attention. I do not like watching 99% of my movies in subtitles. I only put this movie on for about 2 minutes and realized that this was not going to be a pleasant experience. I’ve checked Amazon and see that this movie does not have an English version. This is one movie I will not be watching.

    Regarding the complaints about non-disclosure, this is on the sidebar describing the disc on the sidebar on Netflix:

    Language and Sound:
    Spanish: DTS 6.1 Surround Sound
    Spanish: Dolby Digital 5.1
    Spanish: Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo

    And if that wasn’t enough: 2007 Academy Award®: Best Foreign Language Film nominee.

    Of course, they would have had to have read the page to get that information.

    Then there are the people who are both bothered by having to read and completely missed the point:

    (1 star) I am really bothered by the fact nowhere did it say it had subtitles. Would have been a better movie in English. I watch a film to see it not read it. Could have made 2 seperate movies with this one. I wanted to see more Labyrinth but all you see is a bunch of fascists.

    (1 star) I was very disappointed with this movie. It was very different than trailers led me to believe. Lots of brutality and violence and cruelty. The Labyrinth portions of the movie were fascinating, but accounted for a minor part of the movie which is mostly about a local fascist captain attempting to catch the rebels/patriots and inflicting various cruelties on the local populace in the process. Also, nowhere does it mention the movie has no English sound track.

    And finally, the people who got their ass kicked by their DVD player:

    (1 star) I really wish I had read more into the details of this movie, it’s solely in spanish, and the subtitling did not work…I gave it 2 minutes and turned it off….If you can speak the spanish language, enjoy…I speak english the American language, and enjoy my movies as such

    (2 stars) I didn’t know it was in Spanish and couldn’t get the English subtitles to work, so I didn’t watch much of it. [Not sure why this person gave it two stars...]

    Heaven help us.

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    Fall Registration

    I just finished registering for fall semester.

    My class plan for my remaining semesters (and the last few semesters, despite the required class) seem to pan out the same way. All classes fall into four categories, each category used each semester: 1) Intellectual Property Focus Area; 2) General Purpose / Bar Tested; 3) Personal Use; 4) A “Fun” Class. Of course, there is some overlap. For instance, Trusts & Estates was taken for my personal use, but is also a general purpose, bar tested area.

    Next fall’s classes are:

  • Intellectual Property Licensing Law (I.P. Focus Area.)
  • Administrative Law (General Purpose / Bar Tested)
  • Basic Real Estate Law (Personal Use)
  • Admiralty Law (Fun!)
  • I’m looking forward to Admiralty Law to find out why it was treated as a maritime offense when Flanders backed into a decorative rowboat planter. And for all of the great case names (U.S. v. 1,231 pounds of Alaskan King Crab.)

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    Attention Whorcycle.

    Is there anything that says, “HEY! LOOK AT ME! I’M NOT CONFORMING! AREN’T I SPECIAL?” more than a recumbent bicycle?

    I had one run a red light and dart right in front of me as I was leaving the ferry terminal this morning, and I really wanted to just run him over just because I didn’t like his stupid bike. But I didn’t want blood all over my motorcycle seeing as how I just washed it this weekend, so I hit the brakes hard and actually ended up doing a pretty cool brake slide.

    I’ve only ever seen those bikes in Seattle and Madison, which says something about them right there. I’m sure they’re popular in Boulder, too. And if you do see them outside cities like those, they are probably owned by the one weird hippie guy who lives in every community. You know the one I’m talking about.

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    Not Mutually Exclusive

    A helmet sticker on one of the motorcyclists on the ferry lately: “I’d rather [vulgar word for copulate] than breathe.”

    All I can think of is “How often does that choice come up?”

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    I Need Your Clothes, Your Boots, and Your Motorcycle.

    Maybe you think that because it is interim at school I have nothing to write about. Wrong! Remember, I not only go to school in Seattle, I work in Seattle.

    I walked into my office area on Wednesday morning, and I heard a couple of my female co-workers talking about me in the next cube over. I love eavesdropping on people when they are talking about me. Not because I’m some kind of egomaniac, but I find people’s perception of me versus my self-perception interesting. (I really like it when they are complaining about me. Hilarious!) Well, they weren’t really talking about me, they were complaining about someone else in a different department who has been screwing with us, and fantasizing about retribution. One said to the other: “We should have him [me] put on his Terminator outfit and put him through a wall.”

    Terminator outfit? What the hell is that? Then I realized that I was still wearing my “Terminator outfit” – my leather motorcycle jacket, motorcycle boots, jeans, and Ray Bans (still on in the building only because they are prescription and I hadn’t had a chance to change them). Terminator outfit. I’m looking better in that outfit these days, down 40 pounds and all, but I still don’t think I fill it out like circa 1991 Arnold, though.

    I do like that they think I’d be more than willing to put someone through a wall. Even if it isn’t true, it’s a good thing for people to think. Don’t mess with him, he’ll put you through a wall.

    Later, I was talking to a friend at work about this. He just shook his head and said, “You have to understand, those gals are married to a couple of 5′5,” 130 pound Seattle metrosexuals who spend more time in front of the mirror on their hair and makeup in the morning than they do. I’m sure you’re the biggest badass dude they deal with on a regular basis.” Sometimes for a guy like me Seattle is the gift that keeps on giving.

    In any case, now I can’t put that dude through a wall, much as I’d like to, because I’m not doing those two broads any favors.

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    ER

    I thought E.R. was supposed to be on Thursday night, but NBC ran an hour long anti-war special in it’s place. Weird, since it was supposed to be the season finale.

    I gave up on E.R. about the time when I started law school; my wife was just watching the last episode on TiVo. What a ridiculous show it has become.

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    Yipe!

    This clown lives 6 miles from me. He denied being a former KKK member. Probably because he’s a current KKK member.

    He had anti-tank rockets and claymore anti-personnel mines. I’m sure he just wanted those anti-tank rockets in case he ever had to help defend the nuclear weapon stockpile at Subase Bangor if the Canadians rolled on it with tanks, I guess. As for the landmines, I’m staying out of the woods near his house for awhile. The dog and I like to geocache and run around in there. I’m wondering if he was one of the weirdos I’ve seen back there testing out their weapons. When it’s a rifle or handgun I can handle it. But I don’t need to step on a frickin’ land mine.

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    Step 2: Hijack a Beer Truck

    This dude must have been planning on making a lot of Skittlebrau.

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    No Google Required for this Badger

    It seems to me, that for the 8 years I lived in Madison, I pretty much knew what beer was and how to find it without turning to Google.

    It’s that stuff everyone is covered in by the end of the Mifflin Street Block Party.

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    I Can See Tinky Winky Still Holding a Grudge, But What’s Your Excuse?

    I’ll say it out front: Jerry Falwell said and did some stupid things in his life. But does that justify the dancing on his corpse that is going on in places like this Fark thread? Good Lord, they’re even being more restrained than that at The Daily Kos. The DU doesn’t disappoint, though. (I wonder if Senator Obama appreciates having his face associated with “Praise the Lord this fucker is dead.”)

    Anyway, rest in peace Jerry Falwell. I hope you found what you were looking for.

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    2 Comments »

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