Required Reading
Nov 30th 2004Bull MooseGeneral
Deroy Murdock helps explain why little pills cost money: There are people who actually have to invent and produce them!
Archive for November, 2004
Quick Reviews
Nov 29th 2004Bull MooseMovies
Here is a round-up of all the movies I saw this weekend in the theater and DVD this weekend, summed up in as few words as possible.
Alexander
Overblown and overdirected (not surprising for Oliver Stone) this movie was kind of a mess. Supposedly Stone got Alexander’s personality down, the battle scenes are effective, but I don’t know what the conclusion was supposed to be or how we’re supposed to feel about Alexander. Throw in crazy Angelina Jolie as Alexander’s mother, a one-eyed Val Kilmer, and Macedonians speaking with an Irish brouge and you get the picture. The music by Vangelis was good (He’s not dead?) and the much heard criticism of the non-linear story line is unwarranted.
2 stars out of 4.
The Chronicles of Riddick
What wouldPitch Black look like if they sucked all the charm out of it and increased the budget 10 fold? It’d look like this.
Vin, The Rock wouldn’t be caught dead in this thing. Send this piece of crap to the Underverse.
1 star out of 4.
Elf
James Caan, Andy Richter, and Will Ferrell getting the crap beat out of him by a midget? It’s as good as that sounds.
I have a feeling this will get full holiday rotation as the kid grows up.
3 stars out of 4.
Badder Santa
This is the director’s cut of Bad Santa which I enjoyed in the theater last year. Billy Bob Thorton as a sociopath playing Santa, Bernie Mac, John Ritter as an uptight store manager, a midget, a kid who plays creepy so well you feel sorry for him, and the chick from “Gilmore Girls” as Santas slutty girfriend? It’s as good as that sounds.
This movie makes you laugh with no apologies. You’ll laugh and feel bad about it. But damn, it’s funny. Don’t worry, there’s a redeeming heart-warming ending that would be cliche if it wasn’t pulled off so perfectly.
This one will get high rotation in holiday seasons to come… after the kid are safely in bed.
3.5 stars out of 4.
Breaking Ranks
Nov 26th 2004Bull MooseGeneral
Chris Gregoire, Rossi’s opponent, has called for a hand recount.State Republicans are calling on Gregoire to concede.
Let’s not start getting too self-righteous and pretend if the tables weren’t reversed that Republicans wouldn’t be doing the same thing. Losing by 42 votes out of 2.8 million must be hard to take. What’s the harm in a recount? As long as it’s well monitored, let it go on. Especially since Gregoire not only has to pay for it, but has already mined all the votes she’s going to get out of Seattle, where she showed the strongest support, since King County (probably illegally) allowed a ballot “correction” of any ballots that were spit out of the machines as unreadable.
On a side note, can anyone tell me why a hand recount is supposedly more accurate than a machine recount? I just think I’d trust a machine that was designed to count to get the correct count before Ma and Pa Kettle volunteering at the election board.
Whether it’s dirty hippies screwing up traffic to protest the Iraq war, or people trying to stop King County from stealing their land rights my opinion on protests is the same: DON’T FUCK WITH TRAFFIC.
I don’t understand why anyone thinks screwing up Joe Lunchpail’s commute is going to reap any sympothy for your cause. I’ll say the same thing I did when the aforementioned hippies almost made me miss my ferry or when the NAACP marched onto I-5 and stopped traffic in support of a crackhead cop killer: The police need to arrest people who purposely mess with the flow of traffic.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Nov 25th 2004Bull MooseGeneral
Before taking a day from work to paint the baby’s room and consume 40,000 kilocalories, I thought it’d be nice to sit down and think of some things I’m thankful for.
And that’s nothing to overlook.
Movie Reviews: FahrenHYPE 911 and Fahrenheit 911
Nov 24th 2004Bull MooseMovies & Politics
FahrenHYPE 911
I Netflixed FahrenHYPE 911, because I wanted to see how good of a job Dick Morris and company did of translating the volumes that have been written refuting the bullshit of Fahrenheit 911 to the screen.
A lot of it is what I expected: Dick Morris, Ann Coulter and some other conservative pundits, Democrats Ed Koch and Zell Miller, and some professional Michael Moore refuters presenting their arguments. This is done in a straightforward manner – talking heads, sometimes using Washington D.C. or Ground Zero as a backdrop.
The movie also puts into context some incidences Moore uses to make Bush look ridiculous: He didn’t sit around the school confused for 7 minutes; he was only there for 5 and was collecting his thoughts and not trying to stir a panic. The “you’re my base” comment was part of a charity fund raising dinner where presidential candidate self-depreciating humor was a tradition, and, oh, and Al Gore was there.
What I wasn’t expecting, was the Oregon State Trooper and the soldier amputee who were featured in Fahrenheit 911 by way of footage bought by Moore from other sources. The Oregon Trooper is put off that he showed up in a piece of propaganda and goes out of the way to refute Moore’s thesis that the Bush tax cuts have affected the state patrol and points out that, duh, the Coast Guard defends the Oregon coast.
The amputee soldier says he felt “violated” when he found out that an interview he did with Brian Williams was in Fahrenheit 911 and he came off as bitter about the war and towards Bush. Without a doubt, he says, he believed in what he was doing in Iraq and calls out “Baghdad” Jim McDermott’s intimation that disabled veterans are being cast aside as the bullshit it is.
I don’t think that FahrenHYPE 911 is going to change anyone’s mind who was predisposed to think Bush is Hitler (I still am stunned when people tell me we invaded Afghanistan to build a pipeline), but the movie isn’t aimed at them. It’s aimed at people who may have been taken in by the lies of Fahrenheit 911, to allow them to get a second opinion before making up their minds. This was critical before the election, but it’s still important today.
3 stars out of 4.
Retro Moose: Farhenheit 911
Written July 2004
The Temperature at Which Bullshit Burns: The Emperor Sees Fahrenheit 9/11
I fully enjoyed the film because I protected myself from CIA mind control rays with my own Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie.
Many of my friends of the same political persuasion asked me why I would give Michael Moore money by seeing “Bush Knew: The Movie” movie. Easy, I own stock in Krispy Kreme, so I’ll be getting it back.
Like that? That’s the kind of highbrow criticism that Moore lumps onto Bush and company in this movie.
I love having my views challenged in a serious debate – you know, the kind without name calling or unproven facts thrown around – I thought that’s what I’d get, since the movie won the Palm d’Or and has been lauded by critics for being a well put together picture, no matter what your politics. Fine. I believed it. I do think Moore has been a great and funny filmmaker. “Bowling for Columbine,” “Roger & Me” are fine muckraking movies. “Crackers the Crime Fighting Chicken” investigating Disney’s labor practices on TV Nation is possibly one of the funniest damn things I’ve ever seen.
I admit I read salient left-winger (that’s becoming an oxymoron) Christopher Hitchen’s article ripping it so I didn’t come in with a total clean slate. (Now that I’ve seen the movie, I declare the Hitchen’s article dead on. See the article here. Hitchens, who wants Kissenger tried for war crimes, isn’t exactly what I would call a right-wing shill.)
Having finally seen the movie co-starring my favorite Congressmen “Baghdad” Jim McDermott and Tammy “Grandma’s not a Terrorist” Baldwin, I can break it down into the following segments interspersed throughout the movie:
1. Statements contradicted within the movie.
2. Statements contradicted by facts known outside the movie (reality),
3. Videotaped segments slowed down, sped up or run on long to make Bush look silly.
4. Sour grapes by members of the military and their family.
5. A pity party for innocent Iraqis..
Segment 1:
Continuity errors I wouldn’t excuse in a Van Damme movie:
Iraq never threatened an American. Bush went to war because Saddam threatened his daddy.
There shouldn’t have been any troops in Iraq. There are too few troops in Iraq.
Bush should’ve warned us about 9/11. Bush issues terror warnings to keep us scared.
Bush is slow and quiet. Bush is an evil genius.
There’s more, but I wasn’t taking notes…
Segment 2:
“No recount showed Bush as the winner. In fact the left wing bible, The New York Times, had a big story about how with Gore’s recount scenario Bush carries Florida.
Bush went to war to with Afghanistan so Unacol place a pipeline through the country!”
OK. This is where things go nutty. If you believe that, there’s probably no reason to talk to you. But, of course, Moore didn’t show the jets hit the buildings on 9/11, so why else did we go to war?
The Bin Laden family is a single entity that acts in total concert. In fact, Bin Laden’s father has something like 71 siblings. If any of them had known about 9/11, would they have been in the United States?
The centerpiece of the film: Bush let the Bin Laden family fly home. In fact, Richard Clark, a hero of the film, has stated he and he alone authorized those flights. Since Moore extensively interviewed Clark he must have known. This is where the outright lying by exclusion begins.
Bush was on “vacation” 40% of the time early in his term. He backs this up by showing a clip with him and Tony Blair at Camp David. I doubt anyone ever accused Roosevelt of vacationing in Casablanca when he went to meet Churchill. “Out of Washington” is more honest.
Bush met with the ambassador from Saudi Arabia on 9-13. Ha. They must have been laughing it up since Bin Laden and the hijackers were Saudi. A normal person might think that the President of the United States would be turning the screws on the ambassador to a country where terrorists originated, but then again, the Saudis own Bush.
Oregon can’t hire enough state troopers to defend the beaches from terrorists because of Bush’s tax cuts. Laughable as a non-Imperial amphibious assault of Oregon is, there may be a lack of state troopers. (Moore never mentions the amount of Sheriff or local cops on the beat.) But, brace yourself, the federal government is not responsible for Oregon’s State Patrol. If Oregon doesn’t like what Bush’s tax cuts are doing to their state, they can feel free to raise state taxes an equal (or greater – this is Oregon) amount to offset that.
Again…. There’s more, but I wasn’t taking notes.
Segment 3:
Breaking out video of a President doing something stupid is always so cheap. People who are taped 24/7 can always be made to look dumb.
Taking it out of context is cheap and irresponsible, especially when the President is at a function where by tradition he’s supposed to be making jokes, a la the press corps dinner.
Of course the much talked about, “Watch this drive,” has no there-there to it. Either we accept the president plays golf, or we don’t. So he chats it up with the press. Every president since Taft has golfed.
Segment 4:
This segment starts with Moore ambushes congressmen to get their child to sign up for the military. This is the United States of America, 2004. Children aren’t signed up by their parents to join the military. People making less than a certain amount of money aren’t channeled through the recruiter’s office. Adults decide for their selves to volunteer.
(Incidently, an oft quoted figure that only one Congressman’s child serves is misquoted. There is only one enlisted child of a congressman.)
There are a half-million troops in the active duty US Army alone. Backed up by 700,000 reservists. I’m sure anyone can find a group of ten people to say any crazy assed thing you’d want them to say in a group that big, especially to bitch about the job they are currently doing. (In 30 years they’ll probably be bragging to their grandchildren about what they did in the war.)
Moore thinks it’s bad that people from poor areas have to join the military to better themselves. I think that they’re able to is one of the great things about America.
The money shot of this segment is a momma of a slain facing off in rage against the White House. Sure, I feel sorry for this lady, but some things are worth fighting for. This kind of Oprahization of the US is not (yet, thank god) the way we decide policy. Her son, to try and punch a ticket to a better life, decided to serve his country. We thank him for that. His death makes does not somehow invalidate the war.
Segment 5:
Under Saddam, there were no innocent Iraqis. OK, maybe some kids and some people trying to subvert the dictatorship. All governments derive their power from the people. Fuck the people of Hussein’s Iraq. You know all the problems they’re giving us now? Where was that when Saddam was in power?
In the end, the movie turns out to be a lazy piece of work. Instead of putting together a slick piece of propaganda like he has in the past, his rage towards Bush clouds his filmmaking ability. His rage is so that he just flings any old piece of anti-Bush slop he can find onto the screen.
The film at the end degenerates to showing a couple of old ladies bitching about that old lefty stand-by, Haliburton, who had just got “another” contract. In a very un-Oprah like way, I felt like shaking the shit out of those old ladies. Of everything to bitch about, Haliburton? I know they care about the troops. Enough for them to want the troops to sit around for 10 months without supplies while the government collects bids and then clears all the employees of a non-Haliburton company.
Far be it from me to imply that Moore puts his anti-Bush agenda above the safety of America or her troops. He does it himself.
Hitchens, says it best: “If Michael Moore had had his way, Slobodan Milosevic would still be the big man in a starved and tyrannical Serbia. Bosnia and Kosovo would have been cleansed and annexed. If Michael Moore had been listened to, Afghanistan would still be under Taliban rule, and Kuwait would have remained part of Iraq. And Iraq itself would still be the personal property of a psychopathic crime family, bargaining covertly with the slave state of North Korea for WMD. You might hope that a retrospective awareness of this kind would induce a little modesty. To the contrary, it is employed to pump air into one of the great sagging blimps of our sorry, mediocre, celeb-rotten culture. Rock the vote, indeed.”
Half star out of 4.
Ted Rall and “Lincoln Was Wrong!”
Nov 23rd 2004Bull MoosePolitics
Ted “Some Attention Would Be Nice” Rall
There are so many clever lefty editorial cartoonists that I never understood why any paper, especially one like the Washington Post, would lower itself publish Ted Rall.
If you don’t know who Rall is use google becasue I’m not going to show up as a referrer to that attention whore’s webpage. Rall, amongst other things, has called Pat Tillman an idiot shortly after his death, blasted 9-11 widows, equates the President of the United States to a third world dictator (Bushimo) and calls the troops he commands a death cult, and, in the straw that broke the camel’s back with WaPo, simultaneously insulted retarded people and 51% of the voters of America. Rall was one of these guys who is a pacifist during Republican administrations, but I defy anyone to find a Rall cartoon criticizing Clinton for getting us mixed up in Bosnia. Without agreeing with them, I can at least understand some points-of-view for not wanting the Iraq war but someone like Rall, who doesn’t think action in Afghanistan was justified or necessary, is either naive beyond comprehension, flat out retarded, or intellectually dishonest. (Rall’s the last.)
In short he’s Michael Moore but without the creative talent or sense of humor.
Rall was on Hannity and Colems last night and while I enjoy watching Hannity rail him (how does Hannity, or even Colmes who also seems revolted by Rall, not strangle him?) something bugged me. Rall reminded me of someone.
This morning it hit me: Grima Wormtongue. Wormtounge is a character in the Lord of the Rings, a slimy, slithering, agent of evil who whispers evil and doom into the ear of Theoden and helps cast a spell that almost ensures the doom of Middle Earth. The film potrayl of Wormtounge is Rall. (If only the film showed the end he meets in the book.)
On a related note, I had a funny thought. I’d love to see Rall walk up to Jake Plummer and tell him what he thinks about Pat Tillman. Or rather, I’d love to see what would be left of Rall after that.
“Lincoln was Wrong!”
After the election, some idiot at the NY Times or some other socialist media outlet, if you remember the source of this let me know, remarked that the red states looked a lot like the slave states.
Yes, who could forget the great cotton plantations of Montana, Idaho, Wyoming, the Dakotas, etc.
OK, leaving the error of that statement of the west aside, and leaving aside the pissing on the sacrifice of Civil War soldiers from Ohio, Indiana, and Iowa, that statement still smells, as do cartoons like this. At first I dismissed it as post-election sour grapes, but it’s been 3 weeks, and I’m still hearing it.
The south voted Democrat for over 100 years after the Civil War. Lincoln sacrifised much blood and treasure to keep his political opponents in this Union. A war with almost a million combined casualties was fought to keep this country together. So to anyone who wants to break it up because they lost a close election: Fuck you, you ignorant, naive, piece of shit. Shut your mouth and open a (non-revisionist) history book.
New Link – The Green Side
Nov 22nd 2004Bull MooseGeneral
I’ve added “The Green Side” to my blog links. It’s not so much a blog as it is the posting of letters between Lt. Col. Dave Bellon, USMC, and his father.
The latest is a letter he wrote after the Fallujah action. It gives you a real sense of what our men on the ground are going through without the defeatist, lefty spin of the mainstream media. Check it out.
Weekend Sports Round Up
Nov 22nd 2004Bull MooseSports
What a psycho. Too bad one of his victims didn’t get a .306 rouund off into his face. It’s bad enough when there are accidents, this is just ridiculous.
Notice the ethnicity of the shooter. There have been fights like this near my hometown over fishing spots. There is a cultural difference involved here. Hmongs think a spot they pick for hunting and fishing is theirs for life like it was in the old country.
Of course that doesn’t excuse killing 5 people. It’s borderline frontier justice in that part of Wisconsin. Hopefully someone will save the expense of a trial.
The Badgers count on ball control to win and it just didn’t happen without A. Davis. I wonder where he’ll go in the draft. With his health problems I can’t see it being before the fourth round and that may be early.
Not only did his prediction of Michigan beating Ohio State as punishment for being a red state not come to fruition, but the only other blue-red matchup in the Big Ten, the most split of all the conferences, went to the red state when Iowa beat Wisconsin.
The funny thing was that hte commercial was touting SportsCenter’s move to HD, but the commercial wasn’t in HD.
Ron Artest
Nov 20th 2004Bull MooseSports
It’s nice to know that just because you claim you are too tired to make big money play a game because you were working on a rap album it does not necessarily mean you are too tired to run into the stands and bitchslap the wimpiest looking white guy you could find.
Did you see how he carefully went around the guy who looks like he is a welder at the Pontiac plant in order to get to that guy?
Rules for a Gunfight
Nov 19th 2004Bull MooseGeneral
I got this in a forward and I usually find interbranch military rivalry humor funny.
I especially like the Air Force rules.
No disrespect intended to any sailors or airmen, it’s all in good fun.
US Marine Corp Rules for Gunfights
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won’t work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start
with a “4.”
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is
expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral &
diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win; The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years, nobody will remember the caliber, stance, or tactics.
They will remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating.
Navy SEALS Rules For Gunfights
1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Return quickly to looking cool in latest beach wear.
4. Check hair in mirror.
US Army Rangers Rules For Gunfights
1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound ruck while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from “Higher” to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound ruck while starving.
Army Rules For Gunfights
1. Select a new beret to wear
2. Sew combat patch on right shoulder
3. Change the color of beret you decide to wear
US Air Force Rules For Gunfights
1. Have a cocktail
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner
3. See what’s on HBO
4. Determine “what is a gunfight”
5. Request more funding from Congress with a “killer” Power Point
presentation
6. Wine & dine ‘key’ Congressmen, invite DoD & defense industry executives
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets
8. Declare the assets “strategic” and never deploy them operationally
9. Ask the Navy to send the Marines
US Navy Rules For Gunfights
1. Go to Sea
2. Drink Coffee
3. Watch porn
4. Send the Marines
Racism! Racism Everywhere!
Nov 18th 2004Bull MooseGeneral & Sports
The outrage over this whole Monday Night Football intro thing is wildly out of control.
OK, I guess I can see some parents being uncomfortable if they were sitting down at 6PM to watch football with their young sons and all of a sudden there’s a half naked tart jumping into TO’s arms. Personally, I would be happy if my young son showed a little healthy heterosexual curiosity, but face it, most of this went right over the kids heads. Ha ha, there’s a girl in the boys locker room.
But, fine, if you want to get pissed off at every little thing your kid sees on TV, I can see your point-of-view.
But how in the hell does Tony Dungy find racism in the bit?
“To me that’s the first thing I thought of as an African-American,” Dungy said Wednesday.
What?
First of all, you’re not African-American, you’re a black American or at most an American of African descent.
Second, I thought we were past the whole interracial couple taboo. Does the skit change if they trot Testaverde’s 95 year-old ass out there for the skit? No.
These reflex calls of racism need to be stopped. How is anyone supposed to believe Dungy if he ever encounters real racism and calls it out now? Go read “The Boy Who Cried Wolf,” Tony.
And in an almost as ridiculous statement Lovie Smith said, “You could say that it was pretty close to pornographic…”
Lovie, what kind of bad porn are you watching? Do yourself a favor, Lovie, and type the name, slang or scientific, of any piece of genitalia or mammary gland into Google and find out what porn really is like. Then at least you’ll have some credibility on the subject.
UPDATE: Mr. Jay makes an awesome point: “If you want to talk about stuff that is racist or at least disrespectful. Take a look at some of the lefty cartoons of Condi Rice that have popped up…. Or Sly (a Madison,WI DJ) calling her an Anut Jamima.”
One Trimester Left
Nov 17th 2004Bull MooseGeneral
My spawn officially entered his (ok, possibly her) third trimester of gestation this week.
Here is the thing that concerns me most about being a father: As I look around at other people who have kids it strikes me that I’m fairly certain I’m better prepared and better qualified than 90% of them to be a parent, but I’m also fairly certain I have no idea what I’m doing. (How long before babies can have a cheese sandwich? I have no idea.)
So, I’m fairly certain I’m going to screw up raising this kid, how screwed up are the rest of these idiots’ kids going to be?
Oh well, I’ve always maintained I’m having kids so someone can tell the other people’s kids when to flip the burgers.
Moose Droppings – Hump Day (I’m so white)
Nov 17th 2004Bull MooseGeneral & Movies & Politics
Ninteen. Think your vote never matters? Including myself and my wife, I personally know 19 people who I’m certain voted for Rossi. That is amazing.
Both parties are trying to manufacture votes, and from what I’ve heard of the signatures the King County Democrats “obtained” for provisional ballots this weekend “manufacture” is the right word.
The fact that Washington Democrats would nominate a crooked (and boy is she crooked) Attorney General for governor and that Seattle voters would make it so close for moderate Rossi is a subject for a future rant. I’m in a good mood now and don’t want to ruin it.
I used the bayonet line on a BDS sufferer. Man, I thought she hated me before…
It is pretty much former Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara sitting down and being interviewed for 90 minutes with plenty of stock footage and press photos to make it interesting.
While you have to watch it critically – it is McNamara telling his side of the story – there is some value in listening to the lessons someone like McNamara has learned. While pinning the bulk of the blame for the clusterfuck of Vietnam on LBJ, he freely admits his mistakes there. His point-of-view of the Cuban Missle Crisis is unique. When he tries to come to grips with reconciling his charge in WWII to use cold math to figure out the most efficient way to firebomb Tokyo and other Japanese cities with the moral problem of killing hundreds of thousands of Japanese you can get a feel for the inner conflict a good soldier should have. (But he comes to the wrong conclusion – that he is a war criminal for his role in killing 100,000 in Tokyo in one night – we were in a war of attrition after all.)
Aside from that, one of the best things I took home from the movie is that with the Washington press corps, the more things change, the more they don’t. Op-Ed pieces are shown from the Kennedy days – this is before Vietnam mind you – that McNamara is arrogant, a warmonger, and on and on with the same names they are calling Rumsfeld today. If you don’t play the press game, they try to take you down. Hilarious.
If you have any interest in late 20th century history (or as baby boomers call it: just history) or want to see an interesting self-examination of one of the major players of the ‘60’s check it out. 3 stars out of 4.
I was going to do a thorough fisking of the article, but it’d be like trying to clean up a beach grain-by-grain.
The jist of the article is that cities are where it’s at man. That’s where all the smart, “progressive,” forward thinking people that matter are. It’s the economic engine that runs the country, so if they just abandon the rubes in the red counties they’ll beg the blue cities to take them back and vote how they are told.
Leaving aside the issue of how the cities plan to, you know, fucking eat (per capita GDP in rural areas is much higher than in urban areas for a reason), leaving aside the fact that the terms “liberal” and “progressive” are grossly misused (look at this article and the article on the proposed Marysville NASCAR track to see how tolerant and open minded they really are) and leaving aside that they actually call people in cities like New York “compassionate” (Is that why women are taught to yell “fire” not “rape”?) and there is still a flaw in their argument.
Do people make the cities blue or do the cities make the people blue? I say it’s the former, they the latter.
They say that smart people move to cities. I say smart people are in the cities to get an education, go to the bars and then move to the suburbs when they start making good money and want to raise kids. And the fact that Bush won 58% of the college grad vote but lost big in every city over 500,000 backs me up.
It’s also no secret that Seattle attracts every freak from Eastern Washington, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, and splits the freaks from the Dakotas with Minneapolis. Of course when you drain those red states of their blue people into magnet cities they are going blue.
Look at who else lives in cities: People dependent on the government. I’m talking everyone from welfare check ghetto dwellers to tenured Englsh profs at State Funded University. Of course those people vote blue.
So maybe the whiners at the Stranger, who love their precious wine and fine restaurants should look at this another way. Instead of punishing the red areas for voting for Bush because they are backwards Jesus-loving hicks (let’s not even get into the falicies there) maybe they should beg the red areas not to punish them for voting to endanger our nation because they can’t stand the thought of a president praying for guidance. After all, as much as I love my Xbox, I can live a lot longer without it than without a steak and tater tots.
Prevent Defense Prevents, Ensures Win
Nov 16th 2004Bull MooseAttempts at Humor & Sports
The soft defense of the Minnesota Vikings out prevented the soft defense of the Packers late in the second half of the Packers – Vikings game Sunday. The soft defenses are usually referred to as “prevent,” probably because it prevents the win of the team running it.
It is unknown what causes the prevent, but it’s effects on teams can be devastating. It’s effects on the 2003 Packers reduced the team from a contender for home field advantage to the lowest division winner that couldn’t stop a 4th and 26 to move on to the NFC championship game.
After the Packers, up by 14, inexplicably went into a strange blitz-prevent defense with about four minutes left in the fourth quarter the Vikings scored two touchdowns in 1:33, wiping out the lead. The Packers got the ball back between Viking possesions, but another hallmark of the prevent is that teams are unable to run any plays other than three runs and a punt on any possesion.
After scoring the second touchdown, however, the prevent that was afflicting the Packers shifted to the Vikings and the Packers’ offense was able to easily move the ball and score with no time on the clock.
“I always thought we had a solid prevent, but somehow the Vikings were able to snatch the defeat away from us.” Packers head coach Mike Sherman commented.
Vikings head coach Mike Tice commented, “Tice lose! Tice not like lose! Randy Ratio!”
Vikings star wide receiver Randy Moss, who did not play, was unavailable for comment. “He had to go score some sweet smoke for the flight home,” explained Vikings defensive end Chris Hovan who may or may not have played. Hovan was upgraded to probable for Sunday’s game against the Lions after doctors said they didn’t expect his injury from Hovan’s run-in with a Wisconsin Band trombone player to cause long term damage.
Fallujah Video
Nov 15th 2004Bull MooseGeneral
So a Marine shot a wounded Iraqi who was pretending he was dead? Good.
Let me make my feelings on this perfectly clear: If there is a shadow of a doubt that these terrorists might do harm to any of our soldiers, or that they are not dead when they appear to be, they should have a few rounds shot into them.
These people are not soldiers, they are terrorists. They made the wrong move trying to terrorize the USMC. They’ve had a year and a half to throw down their arms and become a productive, or at least not a destructive, member of society. These “insurgents” have been booby trapping bodies, falsely surrundering and pretending they are dead to lure in our soldiers to harm them. Fuck them. Geneva Convention does not apply to them.
If I was Emperor, the way would pacify Mosel, which looks like it’s next, would be with a small nuclear bomb. See if they get the idea. It worked with the Japs. We burned Tokyo down, they didn’t get the idea.
UPDATE: LGF had the best take on this yet: That Marine should’ve used a bayonet instead of wasting a round.
The Dream is Over
Nov 14th 2004Bull MooseSports
All year I worried that the Badger’s weak linebacker corp would come to haunt them. It sure did today. All year the defense had been able to make up for the weak linebackers by great tackling, pass rush and pass defense by the line and secondary. Well, there sure as hell was no great tackling or pass rush today and the pass defense was only ok. And it didn’t help that the offense couldn’t convert a 3rd and 5 to save their lives.
It sure was fun to think about the Orange Bowl this year while it lasted. Now reality has to finally be faced. Unless Ohio State can beat Michigan and the Badgers can beat Iowa, neither of which looks too promising after today, Bucky is looking at the Citrus Bowl (or Capital One or whatever it’s called these days) or, good lord, the Outback Bowl (which starts at 8AM Pac-10 time… double good lord!)
Mad Props to Mitsubishi Diamond Shield (TM)
Nov 12th 2004Bull MooseGeneral
Yesterday, while I was at work, my wife was at home partaking in the federal holiday. She had the TV on to watch “The Price is Right” or whatever and the dog was laying around like he usually does, happy that someone was home on a Thursday.
A commercial featuring a dog came on. On the 55-inch screen, the dog looked lifelike enough that our dog got up and ran to the screen to inspect this potential friend. Thinking there was another big dog there to wrestle like he does at the dog park, he took a swipe at the dog and of course hit nothing but screen.
This horrified my wife as we spent a lot of money on this TV recently and it is a projection screen so it is susceptible to scratching and other damage. But when she inspected it, there was no damage. I took a look at it with my hypercritical eye when I got home and it looked fine to me, too. So mad props to the Diamond Shield Mitsubishi uses. It took a hardy swipe from the claws of a 100 pound dog and took no damage.
Huzzah to the geniuses at Mitsubishi!
Moose Droppings – H2 Day plus 2.
Nov 11th 2004Bull MooseGeneral & Politics
Well, chalk up another loss for network TV. At least one show lost my consistent viewership last night. When I flipped ahead in the DirecTV onscreen guide to see what “Law and Order” was about, I saw the words “gay marriage.”
Now, I’m not some homophobe who would freak out if I see two dudes holding hands – I lived in Madison and now Greater Seattle, afterall – but I am tired of Law and Order preaching to me. In the last 10 episodes, going back into last season, I have been preached to about the Iraq war twice, the Patriot Act, “evil” pharmaceutical companies, and last night they wanted to lay a sermon about gay marriage on me. No thanks. Law and Order: You are off my “must watch” list. Instead I played Halo 2 with some friends online.
That must watch list is shrinking: The Simpsons, NYPD Blue (and probably only because it’s the last season, I might as well stick it out with Sipowitz), Malcolm in the Middle, Arrested Development, King of the Hill (which keeps getting better)South Park, and that’s about it. I’ll try to catch the CSIs, Joey, Raymond, ER, and now the original Law and Order if there’s nothing else on and they are on my TiVo, but they are not weekly appointments.
What an ass.
HALO 2
Nov 10th 2004Bull MooseGeneral
I ran over to Best Buy last night to pick up Halo 2 after dinner. Do you think I have a problem because I think the Best Buy 12 minutes from my house is too far away? Would it be asking too much that they replace the grocery store 3 minutes from my house with a Best Buy? I mean, I’m glad Fry’s is an hour away, but Fry’s is like a mistress – enticing, forbidden, and destructive – while Best Buy is like a wife – reliable and available if costly.
Anyway….
Picked up Halo 2 and came home. First the game has to update. What the hell? Three years in development and it has to update 18 hours after release? Then, I spent the first 20 minutes getting my Live Logo just right. Finally went for a brown hawk over two steel swords on a crimson and white background. Maybe they can include a moose option in updates?
The logo:
I finally got online and checked my friends list. Just missed one and the other two were unjoinable. So I started playing the campaign. Then I get a party invite from those friends.
The party is the best improvment of the game so far. It allowed me and my two friends to stick together as we moved from game to game. No more tracking down friends everytime a game ended. I played for an hour with them until the east coaster had to quit past midnight his time. Before we quit I achieved “level 2.” About 24 hours after release I only saw level 5s, so I’m not too far behind. That’ll change.
I worry for my TV. Burn-in might be a concern. Fortunately , they made a lot of the stationary items translucent, so that helps. The wife will probably kick me to the smaller, regular TVs if I play too much, so that also helps.
So far it lives up to the hype. The graphics and smooth 16 player games are more than I thought the aging Xbox was capable of. I now look forward to my LAN party Dec. 4. I ordered a 16 port switch especially for it. We could do it on Live, but cursing at each other in person is more fun.
UPDATE: I just realized that since I got 3000 Best Buy Reward Zone points for pre-ordering the game and 10,0000 RZ points for buying the game, I’ll get $5 back before the price of the game is even applied to RZ points. Value!
Moose Droppings – Postmortem Day 7
Nov 9th 2004Bull MooseGeneral & Politics
I hear them wondering what they did wrong. If only they could make those stupid Bush voters understand!
At least last time when they were sore losers it was close. These people are working their way into self-parody.
One lady at work is bemoaning the electronic voting machines which surely gave the vote to Bush. I reminded her that she was upset with the paper system four years ago. I finally got her to admit the only acceptable form of voting is the one in which her candidate wins. Beautiful.
I didn’t mind when The Boss, et al., went on tour to raise money for MoveOn, becuase they were upfront about what they were doing. They wanted a change in President, that’s their right. When singers, especially one who lives in the bizzaro world Madonna does, starts trying to make policy, that’s when I’d appreciate it if they shut up.
Well, one is too many, but what price in blood should we be willing to pay? It’s a sliding scale. I expected to lose 1500 – 2000 men getting to Baghdad. That didn’t happen. What’s happening in Fallujah, to lose 10 men, is horrible, but on the other hand it’s kind of amazing that only 10 men have died in the kind of urban fighting they’ve done so far. I’d love to see us get out of Iraq with less than 1500 deaths, and I don’t think that’s a pipe dream. Hopefully, once Fallujah is pacified, the other hot spots will go easier. But that doesn’t mean we should give up at any magic number.
Remember, the only way these terrorists can beat us if for us to give up. They can’t win a war of attrition. Sooner or later the terrorist leaders in Iraq will run out of men willing to get killed, run out of resources, or, most likely, be killed themselves.
“I am indifferent to what the New York Times or any newspaper may say about my conduct of this operation.”
-General Dwight D. Eisenhower, Supreme Commander – Allied Expeditionary Force, August, 1944
That’s a big part of why he won the war in Europe.
